New Home

We have found a new flat!
We can move in 3 weeks time, and I am so fucking chuffed about it!
I can finally say "SAYONARA YA DINGUS!" To a beloved housemate that I definitely never wanted to chuck off a balcony, nor never mentally set fire to.

(I basically just rant throughout this entire post from now on, so... If you'd like to retain your sanity, you probably should stop reading.)

Towels have started disappearing now, as we have started packing down.
I am sure other things have disappeared as well, though not noticed them quite yet.
The towels bug me though.
Favourite housemate is missing a drinking bottle, so I think he has taken my towels hostage as well as a small knife of my other housemate.
No, why would you say that is childish?

That is the epitome of being an adult. Extracting vengeance.

This guy has actively tried to make our last month the worst.
In March this Gentle Soul has torn up signs that we spent time on making (granted, mine wasn't very nice, but still, Erika's was really well done and she clearly spent a lot of time on it. He called it "Bad art" as he tore it off infront of his friends visiting him in the Easter holiday), and actively shirked on his chores. Still, though, Wonder Boy has had the nerve to actually balk at how "dirty the floors are looking" because "I think the dog is shedding more than usual!" and the like.

Hugh Hefner here agreed to live with a dog. What did he think that entailed, exactly? Absolutely no indication at all that there actually lived a canine in the accomodated areas? That is clearly what James Chapstick has thought throughout the year. He truly has turned his nose at every turn. This truly fantastic and brilliant specimen of the human race has been so cooperative... So wonderful and created such an amazing flat environment, I don't even know where to begin.

Well:
He has not taken out the paper/cardboard litter, glas and metal trash or gone to the shops with the empty cans and bottles in many months. Like even way before Christmas. Because that is actual real work that would actually allow for a lot more space in the flat. I'm sure he'll deny it and claim he went "yesterday" with like a bag of it or something.

The nymph of the forest also had the good graces to offer Friend's Dog some scraps of food from his plate, though fully aware that Dog is training to be a guide dog as well as allergies. Done so infront of Friend. He is kind like that. Not at all fightmongering. He would never do that. Such a gentle soul.

Truly an enchanting creature, this one.
Enchanting like a beautiful flower caught in the first sunlight, still with the morning dew catching the rays. Like a unicorn emerging from a quick swim, shaking its head.

Yes. True beauty in human form this one.
"OCH AYE", the Scots would say, I'm sure: "ACH LOCH SASSENACH HACH!!"

Well I've trailed off slightly. I should probably take that as a sign of "HEY YOU WHINY LITTLE LARGE LADY, STOP TYPING!!" So I will. I take my own advice very well. True story. Actually I very rarely listen to myself, though I probably should. Yes. Listening is only fun when it is about sleep, eating or playing games. I do listen to those.
Right then. Off we go.

The pictures are not mine. I found them on Google searching for "Ugly forest nymph" and "ugly unicorn". I must say Google delivered. Though well crafted. 

Minecraft 2: The Rechurchening!

Ok, so I got pretty annoyed with how shitty the church looked before. So annoyed, in fact, that I went and tore it all down. It was a pretty shitty church to be fair.

My name is Marear Harylls, I have served with the special forces, I have built a house out of debris and built in the frozen waters of the arctic.
Today I will build an extreme and intense church. I will be tested like I have never been tested before.


When building a church, gaining the higher vantage point is beneficial so you are able to tell whether or not there are any dangers nearby, or if there is a place more suited to build. You should never just build it anywhere as there might be dangerous creatures lurking nearby. And getting killed is bad for morale.


















I went into creative mode to gain a higher vantage point. I soared through the skies to observe the grounds most suitable to placing this blasted church. It was intense. The view was exhillerating.

I saw dramatic coastlines and rocky mountain tops. But I finally found a place to set down this church.
I realised I couldn't stop. I needed to see this all the way through.

I built like a champion.
I tested out the different perspectives, I tested building materials. I was getting down and dirty with this church. This blasted, blasted church. I took the building materials in my hands and got to it. It was an intense feeling.

I won't lie. I was about to give up a couple of times, but then I remembered what I was told by my trainer many years ago: I just had to drink my pee to stay hydrated. This gave me a moral boost. A much needed boost to keep on building.

What you need to know when building a blasted church, is to always keep food in your inventory. Otherwiser you may die. And nobody should die whilst building a blasted church. That is bad for morale and has nothing to do in our circle.

Whilst building, I realised it was getting dark. I needed to find shelter quick to survive the night.

Fortunately there was a small cabin nearby with a soft bed and accompanying bacon. I couldn't sleep there. There might be dangerous predaors around. So I kept searching and I found a cave right undernearth this cabin. I slept there that night. That gave me a morale boost.

In the morning the work continued. I started sweating profusely, so I needed to stay hydrated. I needed to find a source of water fast. Or I would surely die.

I had a hard time finding a pure source of water, so I had to drink my own pee. It is great in an emergency, and a place like this, where clean water is sparse.

OH MY GOD, come have a look! I found a wild porkchop grazing in the fields! They are rare, but very delicious. I would have to sneak up on my prey with an impressive amount of agility to get to eat tonight.

To sneak up on a porkchop you will need to go down-wind to make sure it doesn't catch your scent. I snuck up on it, but unfortunately the porkchop had sensed me. It started rolling away. I took chase and by some miracle I caught it.

That was good for morale, and it gave me a boost. I had just caught my dinner for that night. I was finally ready to keep building that blasted church.

This intense church building had left me a little weak. This was surely testing me, and I wasn't gonna let that defeat me. I stepped up the pace and kept building.

Finally I was starting to see progress. The feeling was intense.
The adrenaline was pumping and I was feeling faint. I realised I needed sustenance and I needed it fast.
I found a caterpillar slowly crawling by and I quickly stuck it in my mouth and started chewing. When Building in the wild, it is important to remember that caterpillars are always a great source of energy and minerals.

This building was a true test for me. My morale took a big hit when it came to the roof. I had no idea what to do about the windows and now there were also spears to consider. This has been the most extreme build I had ever made, and it was starting to take a toll on me.

I would have to keep building, and fast. Or I would surely perish in this blocky world. I could see predators starting to circling me and the building, and I knew that if I didn't complete it soon, I wouldn't complete it at all.

I strapped on my harness and started rapelling for no reason. It gave me a much needed moral boost and it made me feel utterly extreme. I needed to get the warmth back into my body, so I started taking some pointless press-ups to feel masculine and to get the sweat pumping. I was really hankering on something to drink. I needed to prepare my bladder for that.

As day turned to dusk, I started to see the fruits of my labour. I was done. I could not believe it.
I needed to find my way back to the helicopter. With that blasted church in the rearview mirror, I hiked back to where the helicopter was going to pick me up. Another mission complete. I am Marear Harylls. And I am Building Wild

Namesake

Middle names. Fuck, those are classy.
I've never had one. Obviously. I wouldn't have made an entire blogpost about them if I did, I'm sure.
They look classy as a fudge cake on a rainy day. Damn that made me sound like a country bumpkin from the Americas.
Middle namesmake you sound like a no nonsense badass. Like:
Edward Tiberius Scissorhands.
John Antonio Doe.
Inigo Revengio Bob Montoya.
William Wally Wonka.
Frederick Pennyworth Krueger.
Optimus James Earl Jones Prime.
Legolas Legs Looks Luscious Silverleaf.
Wednesday Thursday Friday Addams.
Beetlejuice B. Beetlejuice. I hope to God you get what the B stands for.
It stands or Beetlejuice. Damn, I'm dissappointed now.
You just cannot not get that. Double negative. Cool.
Wait. You cannot not... NOT get that?
You can't unget it. You willth not...eth getteth it...
Nevermind.

Victor Llewelyn Von Doom. Surely the "Von" doesn't count as a middle name does it? It shouldn't.
Captain James Evelyn Hook.
Kvikk Lunsj Gallifrey Harbak.

So many wonderful middle names, so few to use them on. Not really though. Because everyone has a middle name. When I was in Swansea there were people with like 5 middle names! Hey dude, how about sharing and caring, yeah? It's selfish keeping all those middle names to yourself!
In all seriousness though, middle names are awesome. Makes you sound all sorts of majestic. No. Majestic. With the capital M.
That was kind of hard to tell with it being behind a full stop and all that.

OK, new topic. Holy shit it is fun to reply to Facebook comments as if you're writing a novel. I have no idea what came over me, but it was kind of fun. A little creepy, but fun. Let's be honest. I am a comedic genius. There art none as funny as I!
No but seriously, if you are bored and don't give a crap about how people perceive you, then it's awesome. I never really can understand people who can't joke about themselves. I used to know a person like that, and he was a bit of a drag. But why remember assholes. Remember the cool kids. Like the Swansea crew. I miss those fucks. And my best mates back in Kriatiansand and Skien respectively. Good times were had. Rad.
Bodacious.

What We Do When We're Alone, Part 2 (Spoilers)

I wanted to show off my Hawke and Lavellan. Because I am kind of happy with how they turned out. And because I love creating "My Own" characters.
At first, in Dragon Age 2, I thought we HAD to have this pre-decided character and wouldn't have a say of my own, but no! Joyous times! I love creating characters. It's so much fun. It's probably why I enjoyed the Sims so much.
That, and controlling their every move...
Need to go potty? Oh too bad...
Want to go swimming? Oh I am afraid the ladders suddenly dissappeared....
Would you like to eat? Oh dear what is that little house-box that appeared in the middle of the sitting room trapping the last remaining sim good for?
Errm, I digressed a little. I would never do that by the way.
I am a Nice person.

Regardless of being Nice there are these amazing options in Dragon Age 2 where you can either be helpful, sassy or aggressive. Which is the best thing in the world. My Hawke is sassing everyone. She keeps getting told off for it as well, which makes it even better. I can't stop. It's a condition. The sass is strong in this one. I wish I dared sassing more in real life. Sarcasm is just the best thing to ever having been invented.

Right. As you can tell I tend to go for the redheads... I like red hair... I am jealous of people with naturally red hair and I kind of hate them a little bit for it.
Jokes. I don't hate them... I just want to scalp them and wear them.
Perfectly all right hanging out with me, by the way, I don't tend to scalp people the first time I meet them. Maybe the 2nd or 3rd time... But no, not the first.

Elfy looks grumpy when she's not in a cutscene. So at first I was going to give you this really unflattering picture of her.
But then it bugged me so much I had to go to The Black Emporium to the Mirror of Transformation just to get a normal-looking relaxed face off of her.
Bless her. She's probably thinking about stabbing a certain double-crosser in the face... I am really happy with her. I LOVE her big giant ear-things! Big ears are adorable. And of course the red hair.
Orange as a carrot. Love it. Love red hair. I think I've mentioned that enough now, though. Suspecting I've made my point come quite clearly across.
The Origin character also had red hair. However she looked like she had poo smeared under her nose, so I won't post a picture of her. Not happy with her. All though the romance with Alistair's nose was quite good. I enjoyed that. Thoroughly. Alistair even got to join sometimes. It was lovely.

Right. Wrapping this up now, if I know what's good for me. Got some funny/amazing things in store though. Found this whilst falling through Skyhold, played me a lovely little tune as well, it did. Don't think I can post that directly in here, but will try. I Frapsed it for Malene once. Because I have been _SPAMMING_ her with Dragon Age related woes. She is a trooper that Malene. Holy shit. I would have told myself off ages ago had I been anyone but myself.

She has properly been there for me, that trooper of mine.
(SPOILERS AHEAD, MATES.)
When Dorian broke my heart, she was there, telling me he was just a useless pixel (don't listen to her Dorian. (Iloveyouuuu!!) You are the only person with a moustache I could ever fancy. Majestic bastard.), or when Solas brutally left (that bastard. I love him too.) us to our own devices (YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF A MISTAKE THAT IS YOU ELFY TWIG, SOLAS!)... She was there. Malene is glorious. I would have imploded without her. Truly.
(SPOILERS OVER-ISH!)

So I took a picture for her once, that I would like to share here. Because I do not believe being selfish in this depraved world is the way to go about things.
Please, let me show you Solas.
Solas showing skin.
Solas in a crop-top of sorts. (I had to google that term. No idea what "a piece of fabric that does not cover your entire upper body" is even good for. I guess "crop top" is nice and short for that though. Whatever it is good for. Who in their right mind would choose to be cold on their bellies and sweat on their arms? I suppose Reverse T-Shirts would also have been a good nickname. Truly. Think about it. T-shirts are for us knobbers who don't like to be cold on our bellies and not be all sweaty arm-pit.)

I may have trailed off a little again. Solas in a crop-top.
Looking fucking fabulous I might add.
I need to go to sleep... Too much Dragon Age.

What We Do When We're Alone (Spoilers)

I have been playing so much (So. Much) Dragon Age lately. I am worried for myself.
That's right. Worried for myself.

I have been playing and replaying Inquisition, started Origins, continuing with Awakening... It is SO GOOD! I can't stop! It's impossible! Send help!
I am running around with my ... Loves. Alistair... Cully-Wully... Sera.... Dorian... Iron Bull... Solas... You know... An appropriate amount of people methinks.
They are so well written! It is so fucking hard to pick a favourite. Allthough Sera, Solas and Dorian... And Alistair... And Cullen.... And Iron Bull....
No, it's too hard! (Haha! Not got the proper equipment. Wasted.)
It's impossible. They are too well written!

The music is AMAZING, listening to the bard songs all the time. Can't stop.
Dragon Age everywhere. No end.

The choices are too hard! The game is torturing me!
Should I sacrifice a fleet of unknowns or the crew of kickass awesome-people of doom?
Should I let the kind person be king and let the economy crumble or the asshole-tyrant that will boost surface-trading?
Should I let a creepy (she's awesome, really, not really creepy.) lady have her way with my man-lover to let us both live?
Should I cut a lying bugger loose for lying and owning up to his crimes or save him and risk the wrath of the people?
Should I make man-lover king or not? ALL THE CHOICES ARE SO HARD!
I hate these games so much!
I love them.
Brilliant, brilliant games.

I feel like I've sold my soul...