To the old and new.

The puppet master and its puppets.
God I hate them (and I hate to say I "hate" things (heh) but sometimes human emotions takes over so much so you have to blog about them. Oh dear Lord, I should apologise in advance...).

The endless struggle for power and control.
I notice I am a bit of a puppet myself sometimes, the hunger for approval, the extreme satisfaction when I "get to be funny" or "do a good job". It feels good to be a part of the group and be included. I guess you could say that I'm happy.

It doesn't feel good when I'm not, though.
Being the outsider. Being different.
Why is being different so bad? Why are we striving so hard to be the same person?
I say embrace your quirks, don't hide them!

When friends join in on the fun, hiding behind a mask of humour. Or worse, hiding behind their own insecurities. A shell that is only there because they are unable to, or refuse to take it off.
I think it's the worst excuse in the world.
We are, however, kind of the same then. Enjoying to be the puppet. Embracing being weak.
It's like shouting "I don't want any responsibilities!"
I do that. I don't want to create drama everywhere I go, so I lie and just let them be a bad person with their shitty attitude. I don't want the responsibility of my own opinions. That makes me weak. (However I'd like to think I'm not like that all the time. I choose my battles. People I care about I tell the truth to. I let them know about their shitty attitudes or things that might be hurtful or offensive. It could be seen as "kicking off" as it is popularly called, but I try and stay away from that and say things as calmly as possible. I'm far from perfect, I'm probably overly sensitive about things, but if I get an (sincere) apology, then I will probably apologise back for being a bit of a shit.)

"Isn't it great to see how much this person has grown?"
Yes, of course it is. I just wish it wasn't into a piece of clay, moulded by their puppeteer.
For their own sake.
When they join in on the puppeteers train of thought it hurts.
Especially being the recipient. (You'd think a friend would be on your side. I'd like to think that most of my friends would be, though. I'm lucky like that. However it has happened where some haven't been, and it feels like an acid bath. I'm guessing most people can relate to that though.)

But I end up smiling when I realise I'm not the puppet. I realise that I am not the victim of manipulation or being told what to like or how to cause torment upon another person.
I realise I have a personality. I may even intimidate them. That is an exhilarating thought.
That's why I win every time I am the outsider.
I won.
Being fine comes in time.
I am the happiest being by myself because then there are no puppets, no masters. Only freedom to be who you want to be. Freedom to listen to whatever music you want to listen to, freedom to watch whatever you want to watch, freedom to do whatever the hell you like.
It might not be feel good right there and then. Not right away, anyway. But it will, and with that I will be happier than being that pretty puppet with silken strings and no opinions.
Because I won over your power-struggle. I refuse to be controlled, I have no interest in being your clone. You might not end up liking me, you may not agree with me, but why does that matter, really?
Who are you to be liked by everyone, anyway?
You're not that great. I'm not that great. Nobody is THAT great.

No, I don't like you. I don't even want to be near you. I've had too many experiences with people like you, and when I see you, I instantly know what you are.
You make me feel angry. An angry mind is not a rational mind, and nothing good comes from being irrational.

I hope you never experience being a puppet, because who knows?
Maybe you'll end up the outsider.
And I don't want you to be happy.
And that makes me lose because that means I am just like you, and that makes me angry.

Another Minecraft solo-style update.

I've been playing Minecraft a lot this Christmas, and a little bit throughout this year so far. So my world has changed a little bit since the last time I showed off my single player world.
I love showing off my shit.
I'm like a child proudly showing my parents a really shit drawing I spent hours on and it still ended up looking like a sheep with a gout.
It's really hard to make squiggles in Minecraft though.

I think evolution is fun. Well, I mean the evolution of something you create. Well evolution in the original sense of the word is interesting too, of course, but I am trying to say that "hey, it's cool to see how the world changes, even though it might not change all that much." Phew. There we go.

 I updated the enchanting room a little bit. Not sure if I want to add bookshelves into the spaces where the sandstone is, so you get the dip-in effect, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there... Bookshelves are expensive, yo! (I just said "yo"... Hello early teens.)

 So this one is new. Basically straight after I posted the second Minecraft post, I started building this fort. I decided that "Hey, I'm fed up with my cabin and I need to find some new chunks, because this Early-Beta (still gutted that my Alpha world has disappeared into the nothingness. It was such a cool place! But when I think about it, I don't think it actually was THAT cool (forest fires were involved), but I HAD captured an entire mountain so that was pretty cool...) chunk is getting kind of ridiculously boring and stuff-less. I want new stuff!" So I bravely went out and explored. Results are, well, all over the place.

 So I had another gardening-craze. Decided I wanted to display the new trees and flowers (fucking hell... My patience broke. Those flower-bastards are hard to find. Found most of them though, but creative mode supplied the rest... I'm ashamed.) as well as the new look on the mini-farm. And a "hot-tub" to add to the nothingness of the area that used to be there.

 So with new patches, I've got quite a changed view from the window. I painstakingly tracked down horses and led those fuckers back into this pathetic excuse of a pen. That will probably change soon. The trees are Acacias, but they're not usually there, only when I need the wood.

 A map room! The hut looked a little ridiculous with maps covering windows and shit, so decided to just make a new room entirely. I have no idea what to do for this room, but imagining a chandelier. Will probably raise the roof a little bit and add it. That will probably be good regarding the maps too, as I can add more of them.
I love maps. Maps are great.

Changed the roof into dark oak wood, or stairs to be precise. Felt it was long overdue with a stairs-roof so to speak. I also expanded it by 1 block because the fact that it wasn't centred annoyed me ridiculously. Was helped a lot by Malene and Peter to determine which was the best-looking wood (hah), because clearly this is so important I need to shake my friends into helping me. Thanks guys. <3 They are the best to see if it fits or not. I'm like a fucking colour-blind... Um, dog I guess...

Right, so I covered up a hole with leftover wood and it ended up looking like a cheque weird picnic place... I'm still not sure how I feel about it, so it will probably change.Built this over Christmas, the idea of the camp-site is Rebekka's. The location of this is behind the animal pens, so it's not the greatest place, but it will do.

 I also dressed up the mushroom-growing place when I dressed up the cave I mine in. I'm quite happy about this room. However I do think it kind of look like a mausoleum... Or a mushroom-growing place!

So this is going to be a watch-tower. Mark 1 is to the right, Mark 2 is on the left. Decided that Acacia wood is horrendous-looking mixed with other things. I quite like it though, but not on a watch tower. It's hopefully pretty obvious that it is a work-in-progress... Moving swiftly on...

 I updated the animal pens. I felt a little sorry for these poor pixels, so ended up adding a little bit of a twatty roof to it. However, they keep escaping, no matter how much I build on it. Really annoying glitch.

 OKAY! Last one now. This is the basement. Or cave. Whatever fits best really. As you probably can tell, I have a massive boner for the dark wood (maybe not the best phrasing). It looks amazing I think.