I was inspired to make another "Letters for badguys". Because I enjoyed making the other one quite a lot.
The angry adoptive father's note to the monster mama in, well, Mama:
"NO YOU MAY NOT HAVE MY CHILDREN. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN CHILD! GRANTED, ITS REMAINS ARE HANGING FROM A BRANCH OFF OF A CLIFF, BUT THAT'S OK, STAY TO THAT ONE! WELL OK, THEY ARE NOT REALLY MINE EITHER, BUT MY TWIN BROTHER AND ME MEANS WE'RE BASICALLY THE SAME PERSON! THAT'S HOW TWINS WORK!!!! GOOD DAY TO YOU! Sincerely, Lucas."
A note from a father to an Insidious (see what I did there?), angry old ghost-hag:
"Yeah. I'd very much like my body back now... I'm getting a little... Can I have my body back now? You kno-GIVE ME MY BODY BACK!!"
The Evil Dead demon-evils are being addressed by the cabin-dwellers:
"Hey mother fuckers. Prepare to say hello to my little boom stick. YEAH! Groovy. - Ash"
The Cabin in the Woods people addresses the monsters:
"I know my cousin is pretty liberal about letting people borrow his cabin and all, but, you know, wrecking the place and in addition killing his family and friends is a pretty indecent thing to do. How about you, you know, return to your graves or wherever, and we'll call it even, yeah?
Sincerely, Kurt"
To Event Horizon, from its designer.
"Dear spaceship. I remember back in the day when you had the prospect of becoming the Greatest Invention Ever (TM), from the Best Mind Ever (TM). I enjoyed those days, spaceship. Then you went and disappeared. What the hell, spaceship. What the hell. Then you show up again... Anyway, I'd just like you to know that I will be back for you.
Kisses, Dr. William Weir."
Pandorum, the astronauts take a stand.
"Okay, evolution would like to withdraw you assholes from whence you came: PREPARE TO GET WET! And by that I mean you'll drown! HAAA HAAA HAAAAAAAA!!!!
- Bob
P.S. Miranda, if you can read this, it means you have not become their grub yet. Good. I urge you to go into a pod and launch it! See you on the new planet! Love you! XXXXX
P.P.S. Monster-person, if you read this, disregard the previous statement. Miranda is totally made up."