This Is the End.

Of 2016. The shittest year in history. Probably.
Hoping for a better one in 2017. Truly. All though there are a lot of things that can go wrong there too. But crossing my fingers for the positive.
As I am sat here I am wondering what people are thinking shooting up their money, and too early at that (#failosaurus), I am also remembering many good moments of this exceedingly shit year.

Eating crabs with grandma, grandpa and my aunt this summer before I had to go back to Oslo. My aunt wanted me to get at least one good crab-meal in me before I had to go. Bless her face. I am so sad I don't have any pictures of them sitting around the table. But was such a nice summer's day.

Eating crabs (See a pattern here? Give me crabs and I am sold.) on the jetty on Okse with the family, many many people there. Catching up with them is always nice. I love the family on Okse. Everyone is so welcome there, I feel. Always someone to say hello to. Beautiful bastards.

The Oslo people are lovely too. Had so many nice times with most of them there. Apart from a certain ex-housemate of course.
I can't wait to get to know people better and getting better in touch with old friends.
I am hoping 2017 will be a lot better for a lot of people.

Best wishes to everyone!
And may peace and tolerance be the theme of this coming year!

Soap Glad to See You!

I realised I actually had pictures from when we made soap as well. So I wanted to post them on here.
Together with the dramatic creativity of The Yesterday Post (That would be an amazing newspaper name by the way. Imagine, get all of your current news... A day late! It's freaking pioneering thinking right here!! Imagine the stress, only slightly less so! ...Or more so. Depending on the news I guess. I suppose it's only pioneering for sleepy suburban towns like.. Søgne. Or not like Søgne at all really as we've had some pretty macabre fucking news here lately. Murders and animal mutilation. I have no idea what the hell is going on here. It's like the Twilight Zone.)
Soap. I digressed a little. Soap.
Ina, a friend of Erika's had the idea. So Maren, Erika's sister and I tagged along to make it!

If you want the recipe then you are in the right place, hermano! This is a DIY post. This fucking blog is all over the fucking place.
Right, the recipe.

You will need:

500 g olive oil
63 g kaustisk soda (not sure if it's a brand name or not, but it is lye. Any sort of lye is fine, I'm sure. Just don't lye to me. HAH! Aha.)
150 ml water

We started by measuring up the water and the lye in their respective bowls and cup.
















Above is some of the gear we used.
- A blender with metal blending-thing as apparently the lye would stick to the plastic one and taint the food-taste-thing.
- A pet food scale, working perfectly fine as a general kitchen scale.
- Gloves and goggles
- Cartons we could throw away after
- Bowls and cup to put shit in
- Spoons

Erika is displaying the proper attire and attitude whilst measuring lye.
Safety goggles or some sort of protection is a good idea whilst working with this. Plus gloves.
Lye is very corrosive. So you don't want to get it on your skin. Unless, of course, you'd like to end up like two-face or something. I doubt it would be anything like an Aaron Eckhart Two-Face, more like Tommy Lee Jones. Less burns more horrible acid accident. Anyway, we proceeded with stirring in the lye.
Maren is here showing off how to attractively and pissing-pantsly stirring the lye into the water. This will make a very hot concoction. Which in turn will need to cool the hell down.

When it has cooled, it is time to add the oil and stirr it all together. We used a hand blender. Then we basically blended until it got the same consistency as... I can't really remember. It was a little firmer than whipped cream I think. Or maybe it was butter. Unrefrigerated.
We added some essential oil, coffee grout and pine needles. For that extra special exfoliation.
No, I hope they don't prick too bad.

Here is a row of pure-concentration-whilst-stirring picture of the Vaginus Maximus housemate-crew. You are so very welcome.

After we used a spatula (I am highly scepticalto that translation. But you can see what fucking thing it is, like. So I can't be arsed hounding down that word.) to get all the gunk out and get it neatly into the cartons. Then we needed to add the oil and the coffegrout and that other junk. Could also use salt flakes and sugar and stuff like that if you want an exfoliating soap. I am sure that would be ace.
I added a picture below where you can almost see the consistency of the soap.

Then just leave it in that carton for a night, then the day after you cut it up into however many pieces you want and leave them to harden for like a month.
Not joking. It took a month to make it.
But they are rad as fuck.

So that was a freaking adventure. I know I feel enriched just by bloody writing about it. Nah, but really it was quite fun to make. I mean having made from scratch. I know you can get those kits where you just basically remelt the soap. They are cool too, but I mean having made it from scratch feels pretty cool.

Hobby Holdup!

Merry Christmas!

So, as I am a raging narcissist, I really wanted to show off how I decorated the oil bottle Christmas gifts I made this year. I am really quite proud of how they turned out.

Mostly the bottlecap, as I felt incredibly clever figuring out about the sanding. I enjoy my clever moments. 

Though few and far between they are, they do, in fact, exist. :P

So I used sanding paper to get that misty look rather than that crappy, crappy fake plastic look. I hated that the bottles had those, so decided to take matters into my own hands.

Result. I think this looked a lot cleaner than the original bottlecap.
Which was fugly.

Decided to make more work for myself and spun straw-like rope around the neck. For that pirate-y feel.
Who doesn't love pirates.

DONE!

"Is this OK? Hmmm.... Is that... No... OK! I'll just use a fuckload more of that and this and hate everything."

Adding the goods. I added 2 chillies and loads of garlic and sundried tomatoes to most of the bottles. Needed to cut some in half, that were too big to fit. I hope that doesn't make the oil Inferno Madness Hot...

Finishing up. One more to go! I decided to cut the garlic and chilli and all this in the living room so my darling housemates would get all the joy from all those amazing smells. I am also realizing that I am the housemate from hell. X)

Detail picture. Thought it looked kinda cool. The reflection is probably my soul escaping.

ALL DONE! Quite pleased with how it turned out. I got some happy feedback, so I think they appreciated it. It was a lot of fun to make, honestly. I do recommend giving that if you're pressed for money and stuff. Was rather nice and cheap to make!

Then I made a calendar-ish for my two housemates. A cheap "10 things I like about you" calendar, promoting an unhealthy lifestyle and their best features. All in one. I would have been happy getting sugar at least! Plus they all got homemade chocolate (or I should say home-shaped chocolate. Worst thing I ever did. I hate everyone related to it. Maybe. Maybe I don't.) which was... Interesting... To make... I hated every minute of it. It was actually quite easy, but I will never repeat that. So. Incredibly. Boring. And time consuming! It took me weeks to muster up enough willpower to get this shit done! So be warned. If you ever decide to make 10 jars of remelted chocolate, just don't. Unless you hate your life.

But anyway, I had a lovely Christmas. Was the last one ever in my childhood home, which is insane to me. And sad. We also celebrated with my cousins (on my mum's side) which was fun! Haven't celebrated with them a whole lot. But I am guessing that that will change now, which is nice.
Some positivity is coming out of all of this. I can digg that.

I sincerely hope everyone had a nice Christmas this year, and will get an even better one next year! Everyone deserve a better year than what this soggy bog-year has been like.

Here's a picture for you who actually read this: My gross-ass cat, Kvikk Lunsj, wearing my underwear as a scarf because she is so undeniably weird. It's not dirty. Don't worry. However the pyjamapants have been in use though...
The filth.