A Freakout on Performing

In my last post I said I was a performer. Though I am not a performer. Not now. I am thinking about doing something about that.

I was recommended to go study at École Phillipe Gaulier in my final year in Swansea by our Bouffon teacher. I am considering taking that advice. However, it wouldn't be right now, and I would like to make completely sure I am not going to study something else should I do so. I would hate to fund it myself as it is Expensive with a capital E.
Like... I could probably get a loan for a house with those money. Not... Obviously not buy the house with that money, it's not that bad, that was more on a Swansea level, because that shit was crazy expensive... But I mean... Money, man.
I want money.
It trickles in so slowly and disappears so quickly!

It's like it's a spell or something. Every time someone gets money they get the spell cast that screams "SPEND ME YOU DOLLOP!!" and drives you insane if you don't.

Honestly, free money would be good.
I could use some free money. I would enjoy the free money. Laze around all day, spending it... Making sure I took care of my own sanity, because, I mean, I wouldn't want to go insane.
That would just be silly.

I was thinking about voice over work when I first moved here and I really should start thinking about doing interviews or auditions or whatever. Because that would be a lot of fun. I am so grateful that Jamie - a fellow student of the Swansean variety - mentioned it, it being his dream. I wouldn't have thought about it otherwise. But it sounds like a ton of fun.
I am, however, a massive coward. I have filled out the forms several times, but I genuinely can't make myself send it. I feel like such a fraud. I don't know why, I have 3 years + another shit year at a folk high school. Though that barely counts. Was fun though.
This is a little nerve-racking.
I don't have any contacts here either, which makes it even worse I think.
I think, though, that sometimes not knowing anyone is for the best. In this sense it might not be, but I hope it can still be good. I really should go for it.

I wish I was a Gryffindor, I might have the guts to do it right now!
Aaaaaaaaaaaa!