The Bristol Conundrum

It's a talent.

Malene came with me to Swansea when I went over on the 1st of September. It was good with some company on the mind-numbingly dull air plane journey. She's very good at keeping other people's minds occupied with other things, which I greatly appreciate.




She wanted to go to Bristol and see the Stonehenge. Yeah, I know, the radicalness of this just blew your mind, but nay, it doesn't just stop there, my dearest minion.
Malene also wanted to meet up with an old guild-mate, so that was partly why we went there instead of directly to Salisbury.
It was a win-win for us though, because as it turns out, Salisbury is shithole. But I'll talk about that later.

Bristol is such a beautiful city.

I must say, though. Britain LOVE their unicorns. It's like they have some information on them that they refuse to pass on to us foreigners...

Anyway, in Bristol our dedicated tour-guide showed us all the important bits of Bristol. He showed us The Famous Wobbly Table, which was one of the greatest things I've ever seen. I mean it literally blew my mind. My mind is in the gutters of Bristol...
I take that back... That made me sound extremely unintelligent...
ANYWAY, the wobbly table. I unfortunately forgot to take a picture of the Famous Wobbly Table, but I did take a picture of the restaurant it was in.

Right, so we faffed about in Bristol for a day, with me being a massive third wheel, but the only one actually talking because Malene and Matt were too shy to say or decide anything... At all... Ever...
"What do you wanna do?" Is probably the most asked question in the two days I was there. They must have asked it about 90 times in 15 minutes at one point.... I was close to kill, that evening.

So with a lot of adrenalin and oxytocin in these two's blood streams, I'm sure, we walked around Bristol without aim. Seriously. No aim at all.
Day 2 we decided to go to Salisbury to see the Stonehenge. So we did.
We took the train around 3-4 and got there around 5.30.

Horsey! Pardon the shit picture...

Then we found a bus-driver on a Stonehenge bus, asked him when he left and got this message:
Stonehenge closes at 6.
6!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?
A pile of rocks has got a CLOSING TIME!?

At a loss for what to do, we started wobbling around in Salisbury.
We found a river...

And another river.....

AND THIS IS JUST A LIE!!!!
No WAY have they made cycles out of Stonehenge. I think we would have heard about it. Anyway, it was closed so we couldn't have gone in and demanded an explanation...

We found a church.....

And pictures of facepalming greats of the past...
Naturally I had to force Matt into facepalming beside it as he had been facepalming a _lot_ that day and the day before...
Not that my incredible puns are bad or facepalm-worthy... Because they are amazing...

We quickly found out too, why they encouraged drinking for toddlers in Salisbury... There's nothing better to do.
This is what faced us in every single direction we looked:

So we took the train back to Bristol, defeated and discouraged. We found, though, that a lot of attractions were nearby. So we snapped a lot more pictures.

St. Mary Redcliffe, a lovely looking cathedral!

Then we walked over to the floating harbour, and I discovered that I hadn't been far away from that when I was there last time. I took a picture of the bridge again (Other blog post about that is here.) and bravely walked across to explore the city more.

Then... A lovely sweets-break.
Rounding it up with a picture of the two turtle doves. Bless them to bits.