Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!
How weird. Christmas was just here, now it's not. It's pretty close to not even being this freaking year! What! One year closer to oblivion. Death and destruction. Just what you want on a merry New Year's eve.
Ask and ye shall receive.
You have officially received.
Up the bum.

Well this turned weird fast. I should apologise but I won't.

I am currently at a mate's cabin in the middle of absolute fucking nowhere and it is (both the cabin and being here) amazing. We have eaten so many nice courses of food (hah. What else would there be many nice courses of, really? Can you use the word "courses" for anything but food? All the questions. All of them.) as well as sweets and other yummy unhealthy food (kinda goes hand-in-hand doesn't it. A lot of the time anyway.). A lot of onion has happened. Holy shit. I am literally carrying the smell of seven diseased trolls in my pores. No not the seven dwarves, no, trolls. You'll know by the smell. Honest to Jezeus. Dwarves leave your skin all nice and shimmery. It's from all the gems and gold and shite. And beer. Beer is apparently great for your skin. Honest. Trolls are just festering pustules of dirt and grub. Nothing good comes of them. Except maybe the satisfaction of knowing they will be exterminated (EXTERMINATE!) after a shower. Oooh showers. They can't stand'em. They make them explode like blisters under pressure. Truly magnificent to watch, though I'd definitely suggest bringing a raincoat or an umbrella. Or both. Preferably both to be honest. Then again people tend to frown upon other people watching them in the shower. Something about privacy... I don't know. People are strange.

Well enough about my BO (I realise I am one classy shit. What a Lady. Holy shit). Let's continue that next year. Which reminds me, HAPPY NEW YEAR! ...again!
Holy shit, 2015. Only around two hours away at present state in time and space.
Soon people will be proclaiming their New Year's resolutions all over social media's, to which I wish them very good luck. I personally am not too fussed about them. I never had that tradition. If I get any goals then I am going after it whether it is January 1st or 47th of October, also known as November 16, but October 47 sounds a lot more fun and exciting. It probably isn't though. I mean, unless a tsunami hits Canada and tornado's start roamin' the skies I doubt it'll be too adrenaline-filled honestly. But you never know. There might be an exciting road trip down a cliff side ending in an unfortunate way for your car (not you. You are invincible. Immortal. ...Other adjectives.) or perhaps a tractor were taking up the road and precariously filled up the bridge you were far too stubborn to wait to drive over. Bridges without railings are such a problem in Norway today...
Yes. Lies aside, I hope none of that will happen. As much as I want to see a tornado, I'd honestly rather not see one here. Holy shit tornado's are cool. Like volcanoes. Only it's full-on air-doom. Not earth-doom with a hint of air-doom. Doom. Doom is a great word. I feel like people don't appreciate that word as much anymore. Doom. It just explains it all. I wish all words were/are like that. Bugger it all.


Right. Well, enjoy the fireworks,
enjoy the drink,
enjoy life,
enjoy the company,
enjoy the food,
enjoy the fisting.

Happy fucking new year you big bastard.

Kawaheehooowallahiihaw