2nd Sunday of Advent

It's the second Sunday of Advent.
Christmas is closing in like a carcrash on tiny little Christmas Eve. (Look it up. This is statistically correct, noted from a single article from four years ago! Probably not outdated. No. Probably not.)
Anyway, I started a catlendar on Twitter (because I am basically just a stereotype of a crazy old cat lady now.) since last time, and have been extremely active.... Or about as active as the general snail.
I have got bedbugs providing for me now, because of my activity levels.

I don't actually have bedbugs. Ew.
That is not a laughing matter. Bedbugs are very real and very gross.
I would not mention having bedbugs had I actually had bedbugs.
I have some pride. A lot of pride in fact. A pride of kittens.
Look it up, it's very real.

I would like my very own pride someday. A pride of Maria's. I will use the way of the cell and procreate like a mofo.
We will slowly take over the world, bit by bit, everyone changing into me!
...Of course this is all just talk.

Merry Christmas!

1st Sunday of Advent

IT'S CHRISTMAS!!! WOOOOO!!!! Been blasting Christmas music since yesterday and eating All Teh Sweets! It is so nice with Christmas! I love it! Love it!
We made a little Advent-candle-thing and everything!
I have to say it's looking pretty swell! Apologies for the potatoe quality...

I am so insanely excited about Christmas! I can't wait until vacation times! WIll be so good to see friends and family again! Carina and Frank has got a new puppy, I cannot begin to describe how much I want to see that little thing! And the bastard owners, of course.
And everyone else. Because they are all amazing. Amazingness.
I miss Kristiansand a little.
Not gonna lie. It's close to my <3. Yes, you read me. It is close to my larger than three.
My larger than three is on my left leg, just for your information. I like my left leg. I wouldn't know what to do without it, honestly. Hobble, most likely. I don't care for hobbeling around, myself, I find it a little tedious.
Tedium is not something one should actively seek, is what I say.
I would love, LOVE to do a bad movie night whilst binging on christmas sweets and all sorts of crap. Not literal crap, mind you, but edible stuff that isn't too good for you.
OK. Not like rat poison or cyanide... I went off on a bit of a tangent... Nevermind.

I am very excited for Christmas. As I have mentioned before. I get to see the besties, the beasties, the wilderbeast and Charlie. Actually Charlie passed away, I am sad to say, so will only be the rest of them. I am excited though.

Oh Cat and Dog are still not getting along. Cat keeps close tabs on Dog and Dog just wants to play. Bless. Dog has gotten her first period as well, which is nice. No, it's actually kinda hilarious. She has got the funniest pants on... Well they are black. So you can't see them very well. But it's very funny.

 These are snaps from her mommy. I think they are hilarious. Bless her little face. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

The Nasal Armageddon

Nasal Armageddon
Death Slowly Approaching
It's Man-flu Season.

An Ode to Woolen Socks.

So as the year has slowly, yet rapidly progressed, there is one constant I have been without. A constant in my life I have yet to touch, to cradle in my weirdly long and stick-ish toes, woolen socks. 
I miss my woollen socks.
All of 'em.
I can't begin to describe the pure bliss of just smacking on a pair of them and stroll around like a fucking boss. Because that is what you become.
Woollen socks make you a boss.
A champion.
A winner.
The top dog.
Number one.
The victor.
The wo/man.

Hell yeah! What's not to love!? 

I miss them. Woollen socks, man. Woollen socks. 
OH MY GOD I NEED MY WOOLLEN SOCKS, I AM, LIKE, CRAVING THEM, SOMEWHAT! LIKE A CHOCOLATE BAR (WHICH INCIDENTALLY I AM ALSO CRAVING. JESUS CHRIST ON A STICK, I NEED ALL THE MONEY TO BUY ALL THE CHOCOLATES!!) ONLY IT'S FOR MY FEET! AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa...!

-------------------------------------------------------

Yeah. This was written like a week/two weeks ago, my mind was ridden with madness from not having super-warm feet. This is my mind, dudes.
My sanity has probably knit itself a warm and cosy area in my brain where it hangs out. Impenetrable by all outside forces. That's wool for ya. Impenetrable from the outside. They should make bullet-proof vests out of it. Otherwise known as "vests".
Take my word for it. I know what I am talking about.

Well.
I should mention my feet are now cloaked by the delicious wool my forefathers made. From the deepest valleys to the highest mountains, the sheep grassed and grew stronger and more powerful wool than anyone could have anticipated. Little did they know that as their wool grew stronger so did they. They soon took to underground laboratories and made nuclear weapons in order to defend themselves, and soon colonized the entire north of Norway, Sweden, most of Finland and a bit of Russia. They bred into a new breed of sheep called DooMSHEEP:
"Definitely out of Malice, Sheep Hastily Eating Electric Plugs". As you can tell, they don't particularly care for Electric Plugs for some reason. Or maybe they like them a little too much? I guess that is one of those things we'll never really know the answer to.
There have been biologists tracking these sheep down and only one has successfully come back with photographic evidence:

Don't they look Ba-ad? 
I am not sorry.
Anyway, the ol' ancestors figured out a way to harvest their wool somehow. They stored it in the family Vault/Bunker of Riches, which my family has taken stuff out of for as long as we have kept track of. It's a pretty big vault. Not gonna lie. Well, the socks they made from this wool was so soft and so good at not sucking that they have knitted them for generations. We have a apretty good history of not getting shot where it matters because of it. Which is nice. Nobody wants a toe-less day-to-day existence. The grammar there was flawless.
The socks have been restored now, however.
I am enjoying the sense of safeness now.
I can finally go out and kick people again. I am so happy.

I MOVED!

... In May!
But still, this is valid!

I was still sleeping on an air mattress courteously lent to me by my aunt (thank you, thank you!) up until a few days ago. After a month of sleeping on something that feels like a pee-sheet, I need to leave the moisture be. I am kind of in need of de-moisturization. Totally a thing. Not really. I just like being crude, I'm sorry.

I currently live with a folk high school mate, Erika, and her mate Martin, which is nice. It's like a big giant circle of love. Because why wouldn't a circle be love. Or vice versa.
Getting out of Søgne is kinda nice, but it's good to see the old chums again after all this time. Been too long, in fact.
We got a really nice flat between Carl Berner and Birkelunden and have been jamming all sorts of crap into it. It's amazing.

I also got a cat. Kvikk Lunsj. She is adorable. And totally not as lame as Nuka. She likes to cuddle. I like affectionate things. I miss Nuka though. The little shit. Apparently he likes to cuddle now as well. Which makes me angry. He should have been trained better to know his master. Which is me, of course. And everyone knows. Or should know.

I went home on a bit of a spur of the moment holiday. The first thing my cat does is run out the window, hang out on the roof and then either fall off or jump off it. 5 days it took her to run into a cat trap.
Well. We had the trap a day. So technically it only took her a couple of hours. But, you know. 5 days in the "wilderness". Little shit. Probably totes preggo in the eggo.

Hopefully will get a lot of boat-trips and niceness and possibly crabs, because crabs is the best thing in the world. Woo! Summer! I like summer. A lot. Like a friend.